Gym Memberships, T Swizzle, and Old Navy Specials.


My name is Samantha Land. I love anything that is covered in chocolate, can be downed with milk, or fits nicely in a wine or shot glass. My version of Cardio is watching Stranger Things on Netflix and still shrieking when they find Barb’s body. Cheese makes anything taste better and I count it all joy, my brethren, when I don’t have to leave my couch on Saturdays. Thus, after much deliberation,some skepticism, and a fear that I might one day become engraved in my couch –

I joined the gym.

Now this isn’t my first rodeo, last year, I did the same thing except my mom was my gym partner and she left after 30 minutes and a brisk walk on the treadmill. After like 3 weeks in, when I broke my stride and was feeling myself pretty hardcore, I pulled a Tswizzle and faceplanted in front of about 2 dozen people. Got up, grabbed my bag, and never looked back- till now. Que The Dog Pound (gym where every kid under the age of 15 goes), Katie Quincey (Baby Teacher and fellow gym partner) and a whole new gym wardrobe ( what up Old Navy) and here we are.

Things I Have Learned So Far:

  1. Half the battle is the 1st day. If you can be brave enough to walk in the first day, you can do it days after that… (Unless you see your students there then it still sucks).
  2. Go with someone fun. My mom is pretty great but not as a gym partner. Go with someone who pushes  you but will also have your back when #tswizzle2017 happens. Never forget.
  3. Laugh. I promise you, humor is everywhere.. especially within those huge weightlifters faces. Who knew someone so cute could look like they ate 2 whole blocks of cheese for breakfast? Or when you realize that sweat has pooled in your crotch and you look like you peed yourself. Happens to the best of us.
  4. That being said: Don’t stare. take quick glances 😉 Just kidding, everyone there is on a journey, including you. Give them courtesy.
  5. Wear cute clothes. What up half off Old Navy Special!!!
  6. Get a real schedule. 2 weeks in and I am still learning that… We still end up wandering the gym sometimes. And by sometimes, I mean 43 percent of the time.
  7. Bring your own Headphones. Sometimes you need Queen Bey to tell you that you run the world in that last minute on that elliptical…
  8. Shoot for impossible but start realistically. Just because your gym partner can do it… doesn’t mean you can. Know your body. I cannot run 5 miles… or 2 … or 1. But I will one day.
  9. The saying “Girls don’t sweat, we sparkle..” I’m calling BS
  10. Celebrate yourself.  Give goals and celebrate them. Right now I’m trying to make it to 10 minutes on this joggy thingy… ( No clue what it is called except it must lead up to the gates of hell).

My goal is to be strong. To conquer the jogging and to one day actually lift something other than the bar. Here’s to the first of my adventures, to actually using all the cute gym clothes that I bought myself, and to realize my full potential… emotionally, spiritually, and physically. One Gym pass at a time and 16 days in. You can do it, my friends, and so can I.


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