We Belong To the Night…

Tonight I loaded up in a car renamed “The Humpback Whale”, way past my already bed time, and drove 30 minutes to see a movie filled with Fat Amy, Acca-jokes, the best mash ups in history, and a beautiful man. At the time, I thought I was going to just be spontaneous and have one last hurrah but it’s funny how things speak to you. Pitch Perfect was filled with the laughter, friendship, and the message that friendship doesn’t end when your book does. It is the ending of a chapter and what a beautiful one has it been.

Dear My Partner in Crime,

Thank you for never complaining on having to do study hall, or being the bad cop, or dealing with my crazy schedule. You have taught me so much about Ghana music, Shonda Rhimes, and what it means to be a true partner. We have lead countless Sunday Night Meetings, too many roommate fights to count, and the Haq situation… I’ll let that sit there for just a second. Oh sweet girl, I love you. I love you for continuing to show me what it means to be a graceful woman of the faith. You have been my backbone on our hall and it has been one of the most humbling and most beautiful friendship.

Dear Anne,

Leslie Knope here. I come to you for every hurt. Whether it be the fact that this weird thing is happening to my foot and is this normal? Or the deep hurts. You have bandaided me with wonderful beer, good food, and a listening ear. Who would have thought that working for you and filing for God Awful Edith (forgive me) would mean us becoming work besties. You are the epitome of what a true friend is. Thank you for that. You have held me together. Please also thank PJ for always being Grizz’s stepfather and never complaining when I just show up. I don’t want to think about you guys not being a hop and a skip away from me. Can’t you just move to Florida? I promise you’ll like it! Please can we text every day and pretend  that Bergie and Grizz are still BFF’s? K, thanks.

Yo Ma Whats up (that’s you Dee),

Which is what I think of every time someone says your name.You are the only person I want to go out to eat with and spend the better part talking about our day with. Thank you for making me love Indian, for finding out about this new brunch thing way too late, and for never judging me when I just want to go to Taco Bell. Ain’t no shame in our game. Thank you for Simon and Garfunkel- or is that Garfunkel and Oats, Broad City, and a healthy dose of good ciders. I think this means Cali is calling my name.. Also… We have no pictures????

Dear Lauren Raia,

I remember being so nervous to meet you. I was in awe of how gracious you were. Thank you for seeing something in a insecure, terrified girl and showing her what it is like to lead people effectively. You did that. Thank you for always having dog treats and loving Grizz. You have been a mentor that has shown me how to write effective emails With your MA degree), how to deal with student conflicts with the beautiful mix of efficiency, compassion, discipline, and respect. It has been an honor being under you.

These are the ladies who have shaped me this year. There have been countless more- Emily, sweet girl. How come we are just now becoming BFFS????? My Boss who it took 9 months and some change to let me see her room but it was worth it, Susanne who scares me but there is no one who commands respect and awe, Kaye who is flawless with her outfits and her ability to be an amazing delagator, Heather you have made me laugh so much this past year. Mary my beautiful hippie who challenges me every day to be spontaneous, and finally my beautiful lunch table. Thank you Guidance counselors. You make lunch so much more fun and memorable. It is my favorite hour of the day. ❤

Fancy Robes, Mid 20’s, and 3AM musings…

I work at an international boarding school. One where I fight to get a good walk in with my dog some days, and others I spend in my fancy floral robe, drinking wine, and re-watching the first season of Grey’s Anatomy. Currently, I am doing the later with a good deal emphasis  on the cupcake wine. It is days like this that I stop and assume that this can’t be what I expected 25 to be. Which is kind of ironic, because I thought the same thing about 24 and even then there were those God-awful 20 something articles that were full of preparation of what my middle twenties would feel like. Each year takes me deeper into the intricacies of becoming older: a full-time job, owning an actual living breathing thing that isn’t a fish,  and relying on more than one outfit that isn’t from Target or Forever 21. (JK, I still frequent Target clearance every chance I get.) My college vision of 25 never led me here. I remember in the not so distant past believing that if I wasn’t married and pregnant yet, I would get artificially inseminated. God forbid, I ever think that again. There are so many things that adulthood brings with them, whether it be rationality that this girl does not want to raise anything else by herself ( the 75 lb bear is enough), OKCupid is not the path you are ready to walk down, or the sense that community is detrimental to the ever present growing that never really stops.

I miss the writing community. I miss the community I surrounded myself with from home, I miss home. I think it took a long time for me to come to this conclusion. Home was a stable group of friends outside of work,  my family as my support system, a constant buddy for Netflix-AKA my brother, and a blog that described the hopes of getting out of my small town.  For so long, I thought that admitting this was admitting defeat. I was supposed to have this amazing life up here and be consumed with What Instagram and Buzzfeed led us to believe about the city that never sleeps.  I once read a book called MWF Seeking a BFF and if that doesn’t describe my life at this point, I don’t know what does. Before I moved here I was writing once or twice a week and had blogger friends (Here’s lookin at you Jenn and Kelly) and I was reading and writing on the reg.

So this is me attempting a change. Maybe it is my delayed New Years resolution. Maybe it is me trying to grapple with the thing on the tip of my tongue that is making me so restless here. It will most likely be my rants of boarding school life, random excursions in search of something outside of EF (My OkCupid account atrocities), or maybe even moments of creativity. All I know is that it takes the homesick out and makes me zero in on what is really important. It makes me find my voice again, the real one.

A Different Kind of Fairytale

There once was a girl.  She believed in spontaneity, late nights, and was anxious to get out of the rut she felt she was in. So, on a whim she took a chance and In two weeks she convinced herself and her family that the only place for her was as far north as she could go- New York City. She packed her car full of Florida clothes, her one eyed pup, and the faith of her 20’s and left for what she imagined to be the dream. On the way there she imagined Manhattan, the Skyline, Broadway plays, and her life as one of the four SATC Girls. Maybe her own Carrie Bradshaw. IMG_0999

She arrived to not Times square but to a small town not entirely like the one she left behind, and to the daunting task of Mom and not Carrie Bradshaw. She turned in her freedom for a leash and a clipboard of names.75 to be exact. Names she couldn’t pronounce and Girls she had never met. House Master became her title and Cinnabon creamer became her vice. Her responsibilities shifted to remembering birthdays, learning impossible names, buying countless supplies of dog food, morning pushes, and check in. Her nights ran to mornings and she learned that when paired right leggings became a girls best friend. She learned how to call a taxi, and maneuver the drag race traffic, and how to effectively play the good cop bad cop.  Hospital runs became the norm and there was always a hot cup of lemon tea with extra sugar that happened to find its way into her hands from her favorite nurse. That was only the first month.


Burn out was inevitable, homesickness untreatable, and Christmas was a million miles away. She had nothing but her dog for comfort and that was proving more a mistake than blessing with the hole in the wall and 6am potty times.IMG_1060

Her life was nothing like she had imagined. A few more weeks went by, and burnout seemed to be farther from the horizon. Girls showed up at her door for Cookie Butter and Hart of Dixie. Turns out no matter what nationality, Southern boys will always be attractive. Names became faces, and those faces wormed themselves into her life. Relationships were formed and turns out, her mama was right. She did inherit that teacher look.

One night after a particularly long day and a bag full of Taco Bell, it dawned on her as she pulled a 15 hour work day just to see one of her babies perform. With blisters on her feet, 5 day old unshaved legs, and no clean underwear- there was no where else she would rather be. Watching one of her kids do something she loved and being able to be apart of it. That was the day she felt she grew up. She realized she would take a spoon full of cookie butter over cocktails, and 2am breakup seshs over the life she thought she wanted. And that is a story all on its own.


The List goes on and on… Thank you’s Pt. 1

There has never been a time where I felt so out of control of my life. It is Tuesday, the first actual day of not being at work, and ask me what I am doing. What I should be doing is packing… I, realistically, am on my couch with Pitch Perfect in the background and my computer in my lap. I seemingly haven’t learned. Have I even attempted to pack.. That is a negative, But I can’t say that I would take back anything. I am so blessed to have family and friends like all of you. From the well Wishes, to the good times, and thoughtful gifts- my heart is completely full. I came back to this place at a time in my life where I thought this was the last place I ever wanted to be. I felt like there could be nothing here for me… and a year and a half later, I am wondering how I will ever leave in a few short days. I made a life here, and the best part, I made it as a woman, not the 18 year old girl who left here originally. So here are my thank you’s, my condolences, and whatever else you may call it.
To the library who took me under their wing… a 23 year old newbie who didn’t have the greatest track record with book returns ;). Hopefully, you made the right choice. From the coffee vents to the Christmas once a month, I have enjoyed it more than you could ever know. Cindy, Get my room ready, and Mrs. J know that I am so relieved that you have to update the computers now!!To the family outside of Lafayette Library, Taylor, Gilchrist, the Head, You ladies and gentlemen have become my friends, my advice givers, and my own personal cheer team. Terri, you’re the youngest again! Eli, Thanks for the grace every time I made a sarcastic comment or called 100 times a day to get help! Aunt Cheryl, Thank you for being my aunt when I needed you to and a boss when it was called for. I can’t imagine not having your office to run to every now and again… Wayne, thanks for knowing it coming… even when I didn’t.
To my church who taught me that Baptists don’t just eat. Thank you for accepting me and bringing me into your own. The bitter girl who was at a crossroads in her life. Thank you Codie and Bryan who were my constant home away from home- My Pinterest friend (along with Angelica) and Harry Potter nerd. Mrs. Judy and the Robinsons, thank you for the game nights, food after church, and being my repairer to my poor glasses. You will forever be the best beach bums! Mrs. Lynn, thank you for not being afraid to talk to me, those one on ones have meant so much to me… To the Smith’s and Mrs. Gina, you have been my family. To Mrs. Jaime, Thank you for believing in me. For going along with my 2 man book club and actually reading the book. Your hugs I looked forward to the most on Sundays. To my Sunday School ladies, you are my sisters. I will miss rolling in with my chocolate milk in hand and Mrs. Rhonda sharing her book. Mrs Kerri and Mr. Martin, I will see you this summer. Mexico Here we come!!!
To my Land Family, I am going to miss our ladies nights. I fully expect to see you guys in New York at least once. I am so grateful to call you guys family. Aunt Louise, thank you for giving me a job when I was broke, I loved seeing your vision and helping with your boutique. Aunt Irene, for always being in the garden with us rain or shine… Uncle Mitchell, for always liking my cooking even when my dad didn’t. My not Land Family, I love you Granny, so much. You are my role model, forever. Papa, if any man can match you, I should snatch him up. Joey, thanks for fixing my car the 800 times and coming to get me everywhere. Wade and Melissa, I love you and I am so sorry I didn’t see you before I left! Aunt Laura, THank you for realizing it was time for me to go. I will be back, I will miss you too much! You know that. Thank you for always being my aunt and teaching me that friendships are stronger than blood.
To the Community of Mayo, Mr. Jack, thank you for taking a chance on me. I loved the pictures, and cannot wait for the retakes! Thank you for taking a nervous, terrified girl, and making her feel like a million bucks. To the bank ladies and Nicole, Thanks for giving me my first debit card!! It was a long time coming!! Tiny steps into adulthood! To all the patrons who stopped me in the stores to check and see if their books were due, thank you for making me feel important.
I know there are countless others but this is the start. These next few days will be a whirlwind but I wanted this to go out before I left. I love you guys, and can’t wait to start my adventure!!!1471890_827321590625518_2030540106516797494_n

Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.

           Once, when I was on the brink of being a senior in High School, (I am thinking it was my senior year) I made Lori Land take me to a movie that she was not excited to see. Let’s be real, most movies I wanted to see she was less than enthusiastic,  but being the amazing mother she is, she dutifully went to Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. I remember coming out of the movie theater with this renewed sense of inspiration and drive to rise to the undeniable potential that was within me . Obviously, it didn’t take much: a kid’s movie and a cherry coke, but this scene has stuck with me throughout these past two weeks.

Mr. Edward Magorium: [to Molly, about dying] When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He’s written “He dies.” That’s all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is “He dies.” It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with “He dies.” And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it’s only natural to be sad, but not because of the words “He dies.” but because of the life we saw prior to the words.

[pause, walks over to Molly]

Mr. Edward Magorium: I’ve lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I’m only asking that you turn the page, continue reading… and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest “He died.”

Molly Mahoney: [starting to sob] I love you.

Mr. Edward Magorium: I love you, too.

[picks Molly up, sighs heavily]

Mr. Edward Magorium: Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.

           Last week, my community grieved the loss of a girl. A girl  that made such an impact  in so many peoples lives- a sister, a friend, a teammate, a classmate.  A woman with her whole life ahead of her. She left behind so much, but one of the things that resounded in the comments, posts, and well wishes was the way she made people feel. She brought light and love into peoples lives and the evidence is all over Facebook. Her life was the testament to how we should live. Lovingly, and to not look at her death but her life that was lived before it.

            Last night, my entire Facebook community mourned the death of Genie, Patch Adams, Peter Pan. Their entire childhood revisited throughout the night and the memories that this man played such a hand in. His talent brought so many people happiness and yet his life was so full of despair. And  at the same time,  an entire wave of people have called for justice as the senior was unjustly executed. His life on the cusp of transition.

     Throughout these moments I can’t help but think of Dustin Hoffman( Mr. Magorium)- with his odd lisp, his colorful dance moves and eccentric behavior, and how much he made an impact on Molly. His life would never be over as long as his legacy lived on.  So for all who have died young, they live on in the quiet moments of remembrance and life. Through the lives of families and friends, through good times and bad times…Robin Williams will be there 10 years from now when I have kids and they watch the movie that made me believe t hat I would never grow up. He will be remembered by bringing a voice to suicide prevention and the real epidemic of depression… And for Michael Brown, he will forever be the call for justice. For there to be equality for all. And for the ones left, our job is to keep them here.  To never stop being the voice for them. To embrace them in the moments of our lives and to remember that We should live our life as an occasion… Rise to it.

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When you got big plans, you move to New York.

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There are moments in your life where you have to sink or swim. When Opportunities get thrown into your lap and you have to make the decision if the prospect of the great unknown is more enticing than staying in the comfortability of the life you have created so far. Obviously, I have just quoted, pretty much, every cliche inspirational song imaginable. Happens. But in the midst of Hillsong, Journey, and all the rest- they have a point. There comes a time in your life where you shouldn’t stop believing and you’re thrust into life altering decisions. dramatic much? Eh I am in favor of excited!

For me, that means packing up my one eyed grizzly bear, my suitcases, and my sweet mom (cause there is no way she is going to let me move in by myself) and move to New York. I have never lived outside of Florida, I have never lived more than 4 good hours to home, and I have never lived anywhere where it might even have a chance of snowing. I can’t even imagine how this will go but I can say it will be an adventure. I cannot even begin to say how incredibly blessed I am, and how fortunate I am to be having this opportunity! I will be a houseparent for EF Academy in Tarrytown NY and I will be working in their Library. I mean… come on- amazing doesn’t even begin to cut it!

So in the next few weeks, Let’s chat, Let’s have lunch, Come by the Library and see me before I leave. So many of you have been so encouraging to me throughout my move back to Mayo for the past year and a half and I have loved it,  I can’t imagine what life will be like without the life of this small town. Without you guys. Mayo is my home, and y’all are my family. To the people outside of Mayo, guess what! You have some place to come visit. Let’s be real, I love company. It’s like a party. Also, if you have friends up there…  I might like them to be my friends. I am sure I might get kind of lonely up there ( I have not succumbed to desperation yet) So hit me up! I promise that if you are a fellow reader of my blog and I haven’t written in years, that is changing. I have jumped back into the saddle and be prepared to hear about my trip to Mexico. It has been a long time coming. Thank you so much for the prayers that I am sure will be sent up, and the thoughts and well wishes, I am going to miss you guys. So I leave you with a fun quote to describe the insanity which has become my life…

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Faith and Feminism: The “F” Word

The Stay at Home Feminist



Speak this word in a crowd of conservatives and you will instantly feel the tension rise.  You will see faces suddenly distort, and grown men shift uncomfortably in their chairs. I’ve never understood how a word I found to be so liberating and inspiring could cause such anger and discomfort among others.

If you read my recent post, “My Husband, My Companion,” you noticed that I identify myself as a Christian feminist.  For years I was told these two labels are a contradiction, and that if I tried to identify with these two labels, I would find my faith and my activism at odds with one another.

In my first couple of years as a Christian, I encountered some individuals who claimed women were subordinate to their male counterparts; implying that the differences in our sexual organs sets forth a hierarchal framework that I am to adhere…

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Writing Process Blog Tour

My Writing Process!

So…. Let’s start off, I am sometimes a bit overly friendly. Ask poor Jenn at properlyridiculous and she might tell you the same thing. She is absolutely wonderful, and it has been so fun to read her blog. I may act like I know her extremely more than I do and it may have been a mistake-her giving me her number, but I feel like I have found a kindred spirit. From her sharp, witty sarcasm to her very insightful football posts that make even the least football fan (aka me) excited for this fun season. She is someone I started following from the beginning of this journey and she is someone who has encouraged me and been the first to like my posts. 😀 Check her out!  You will not be disappointed…


Ok. that is such a loaded question. Right now, I am working on my blog, and trying to get a good rhythm going. I feel like it is so important to get that structure down and unfortunately my life is a little sporadic to nail it.  Something that I would like to be working on… but I don’t dedicate time to it like I should (I have like 2 chapters. If that gives you any clue) a book! I just think that there are books for all different genres except for the twenty-something’s (I also hate that term but you get the idea) and not the cheesy YA lit with sex in it. Something real, about best friends getting married, moving back to your parents houses, finding out that jobs aren’t thrown in your laps. Books that deal with Starbucks, and loneliness and making rash decisions but without the grace of College. So I would like to start to rectify that. Maybe it will come about one day.


Well, besides being the only blogger with horrendous grammar? hmmm… I can’t really say. I can say what I hope I get across to people. I hope that I make you laugh, that I make you think… Dear God, me too! That I make you realize that you aren’t alone and that someone is always in your boat helping you paddle. I don’t have a genre… except maybe a twenty-something, Post grad, wannabe adult?


Because I want to make you smile. I want you to feel what I feel because I know I can’t be the only one. Because there is reason that all these crazy things keep happening to me and what better way to write them down and hope Lori Land doesn’t keep tab.


So I have started this new thing called Things I love Friday/ Happy Friday. I’ve done two. Wups. But I try and post at least twice every week. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t. Refer to A and remember I need structure.


Chelsea Jacobs


One of the most amazing women that I know. You probably aren’t supposed to add your best friend but everyone deserves to read her blog. She might make you laugh and cry at the same time but its worth it, my friends. get on it. Also she needs a new phone, anyone out there got one?

Newlywed to the love of my life.

Connoisseur to all things coffee and books.

Dreamer, lover of life, and aspiring author.

I want to write great things. ”


Also someone who should have never given me her number. On the reg, my friends. Friends forever. She is extremely compassionate. Her blog pushes you, inspires you, and makes you strive to be a better individual. She takes the every day mommy blog and throws it out the window, instead with insightful blogs for even the most non-mommy individual. She is also having her second baby soon!!

I am a new mom to a wonderful baby girl, and a wife to an amazing husband.  In my college years, I always identified with feminism, but now find myself holding a very traditional role in my family.  So, here I am: wife, mom, and feminist?  I don’t claim to be perfect in these roles, nor am I going to get it right 100% of the time.  This is just me trying to figure out how these three roles can co-exist.  Because, in twenty years, my daughter will be embarking on her own journey into womanhood, and I want Selah to have the freedom, and the grace, to discover what that will look like for her.”



What’s your mad skills?



Sometimes at work I read articles.


Facebook articles


Hello Giggles etc…

You name it… I probably spend 75% of  my spare time on them. I have this obsession with lists… 55 Songs to Listen to This Summer, 24 Reasons the Illuminati is Real,19 Cutest Dogs on the Internet. Add the phrases cutest dogs, twenty-somethings, after College, and I feel like I have hit the jack pot. It is my obsessive guilty pleasure that I take great pride in. All of my friends get different articles from me a day being like OMG CUTEST ARTICLE EVER. or.. OMG THIS IS MY LIFE. or LET’S BACKPACK THROUGH SYRIA. After about 20 minutes the initial excitement of the article wears off and I find the 22 books to read this summer list. ( I also live for book lists)

Today I stumbled across an article on ThoughtCatalog about Life and the pursuit of happiness. It got me thinking, maybe we have gone about our life all wrong. The author was a journalist- traveler, had the life that he was supposed to have, The job he thought he wanted, but he was at a cross roads. He could settle down-work the desk job, or he could turn into something he didn’t want. So many times, I feel like I reach that crossroads. I feel like I am there right now! One of my biggest problems is being so indecisive and letting people make the decisions for me. I AM THE WORST. I let Fate, people, life push me into situations and I tell myself that it is because It was supposed to happen. Really, It’s because  I don’t have the guts to decide Yes or No. My biggest weakness is pushing it or them to the side and pretending it isn’t there. At his fork in the road, he didn’t dig a hole or run back the way he came, or even wait for someone to pus him down the path-he decided to take Charge. he began to not define himself by the degree or by his job but by his attributes… the things that he likes doing AND  he is good at. What if we did that?

What if when the next person who asked me about my life- instead of the normal… Oh I am a librarian and at some point throw in that  I was an English major. Thus ensues that I am most likely super great at proof reading and grammar. (This is not true). (Please also, do not go back and judge my past grammatical errors). Or I get, man… you like to read. This is quite true. But what if  I casually said… I am really intuitive and  I can communicate quite well. Or, I can dress casually very effectively and writing comes easy for me. That I have a really uncanny ability to know exactly when the homemade chocolate chip cookies are done and to pick out the best book for the season.  That I love to tell stories and make people laugh. What if we defined our life by the gifts that we had and not the job  that we have.

He goes on to discuss  a 10 minute exercise In which compiles “What if my entire career only lasted a day? What would I want to spend that day doing? Which of my talents would contribute the most to whomever I chose to spend that day with?” Obviously, this takes it a bit farther and a little bit more extensive but initially it is still the same-you decide what makes you happy. Not, oh… English is the only thing I am good at so…. English major over here. Or… I am pretty good at babysitting, teacher for life. There is nothing wrong with these if you love doing it, but why waste your life if you’re miserable? Why would you sacrifice these quirky individualistic qualities that make you the person you are on a job that you aren’t thriving in? So I ask you… What do you do?

Things I love Friday. :D

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It has been forever since  I have even attempted to write. Something about a One eyed puppy, random kittens showing up, Flat tires, shoddy brakes, and you would think my life ended. It hasn’t exactly been pretty. Believe me. I feel like I haven’t exactly caught my breath, but I have learned so much to be thankful for and to love.

1. A very happy puppy. He kind of has no idea that he has one eye… until he runs into walls but ehh.. happens. He has it going.. He has survived, and for that, I am so grateful. Already, he has made me become more responsible (I mean… 7 AM  is pretty responsible) and he has wrapped himself neatly into my whole families heart.

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2. Hair Appts. I looovvveee getting my hair played with and cut and done. Does it happen often? No. Should I do it more often.. Why yes, but Man, There is something about walking out of the shop and feeling like you can take on the world. Priceless.

3. The Bachelorette!!!! I just became that girl. You know, the one you cringe about because she is so obsessed with the cheesy scandals that are attributed to this show. Don’t judge me, Embrace it. Okay, well at least Avert your eyes as I go full on fan girl.


4. Oversized cut Tshirts. I may have bought into the trend whole heartedly. When you have beautiful days at thrift shops and horrible people who tell you, you look great in anything, (Tiffany Pulliam. that was your shoutout) You can’t help it. They also pair well with flower headbands and long skirts…. jk! kind of.

5. Book clubs! I love books. I love reading them. I love talking. I love talking about them. It has been so nice. Last night was the kick off of our book club and we read half of Ocean at the End of the Lane. Do you know how amazing it feels to be on the same page as other people? (see what I did there… ;))

6.  Mother’s Day.Because of this and this.

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I hope your weekends are amazing, my friends, and I hope that by next week I will be back in the swing of things.